It Happened in an Instant

It happened on a beautiful Spring Saturday, one of the first of the season. I was delighted to get outside and begin the clean up of my flower beds. By mid afternoon my back was telling me it was time to be done, yet there was so much more I wanted to do. I sat for moment on the stone wall and contemplated my next move. I was joined by youngest son, we sat and chatted a bit and my oldest son pulled in on his motorcycle.

My oldest is 21 yrs and finishing up his junior year of college. All three of us sat, marveled at the beauty of the day and chatted a bit more. As we disbanded is when it happened.

My oldest turned to walk away. The world fell silent, all I saw and heard was he walking away and me standing there watching. Almost like an out of body experience. I realized in that instant my baby is all grown up. He is a full blown strapping man! He is the next generation of men, the alpha male. He is ready to take on this world. He is a ready to lead. I realized he is ready!!! What an amazing feeling. The words slipped from my lips before I realized I was saying them out loud, "How did he get to be so grown up?"

Another voice pulled me out of the silent bubble. It was my youngest, "Hey look at me I'm going to be 13 in few months." A smile crossed my face, I grabbed him and gave him a big hug, "Yes. Yes you are." And to myself I said, 'but I know I have a good seven years left with you'. :)

I leave you today with a song. I hope I have taught you well my son. I love you.

A Non Typical Day in New England in March

It is incredibly warm here today. In fact it is hot! I can not believe it is March 18th. This time of year we are usually buried underneath mounds of snow with temps beginning to warm up into the 40's. There is NO snow and the temp reads 77 F right now! INCREDIBLE! Incredibly gorgeous that is! We are very happy New Englanders!

The unseasonable warmth has inspired lots of project around the homestead. Today's projects include.....

Starting some seeds. Some of the beauties that will growing in my garden this summer. 

Taking a photo of this guy .... "No don't take my picture."

And taking him back to his dorm after spring break.

Getting ready for the summer season. :D We set up the new summer resort. The last one got destroyed in an unusually early October snow storm, that was the only snow to speak of this winter season. (picture me doing a little happy dance.)

Bringing the deck seating out of winter storage. So we don't have to sit on the floor in order to eat our dinners on these incredibly warm evenings, when I insist we have our meals outside.

A bit of basking in the sunshine (she looks hot, doesn't she?) and taking this girl for a walk. She is going in for surgery tomorrow to have a tumor removed. So I am going to hangout with her today while my husband takes son 2 back to college.

Now I need to go find my shorts so I can get outside for a walk. More happy dancing. Have a great day!

Today is for My Uncle

Dear Uncle,

Today we celebrate your life.
The wonderful life you created.
The beautiful family you grew to share with the world.

It is time for you to fly away with God's Angels.
We are saddened for you to leave us.
We understand the need to leave behind the earthly ailments
and illness.

We shed our tears.
We pray for you.
We love you.

We bid you fairwell
Until we meet again in God's time.

<3

Adios 2011 Welcome 2012

Adios 2011. I am happy to see you go!

Grab yourself your favorite cup of tea or coffee. This is a little bit long but this girl needs to talk. I seriously need to let 2011 fall behind and I am looking forward to 2012 but first I must purge what was of 2011.

For me, 2011 began with high hopes of focusing on my art work and my business.I had great plans at becoming better organized in planning shows, creating interesting pieces of jewelry, growing my business and loving every minute of it. I purchased an event calender so I could keep track of upcoming shows, to make sure I kept on top of all the wonderfully fun challenges that my awesome jewelry making buddies put together and get better on top of my marketing points. Those were my priorities. Mind you my family and my husband's business always comes first. It is non negotiable that I will be available to take care of my children as needed. I have three boys; one is well on his way to being independent, another is learning how to be independent, the third is a tween and still in need of a parent (almost) ever present. So I figured I have 1.5 children well on their way so I could afford to throw a fair amount of my energy toward my work.

But alas 2011 was not going to be the year I had intended it to be. Somewhere during the first quarter of the year I decided it would be a good idea to get a part time job and help out with the home finances. My husband is self employed and the last couple of years have been slow. We have managed but with one kid in college and a second on his way in September I figured I could contribute financially. This was tough! I have been a stay at home Mom for many years. Managing a household, three kids, a part time job and  providing office support to my husband in his business was too much for one person to take on.

Then came the cancer! In late February my sister began to have a series of tests which, by mid March, confirmed she had breast cancer. This diagnosis threw my family into a tail spin. We have NO history of this in our family, but that is a story for another day. All creativity was out the window and all my energy went toward supporting my sister with whatever she would need over the next few months.

At the same time my second son was preparing to graduate from high school and readying for a big move to college. My husband and I thoroughly enjoyed seeing him make the leap from high school to college, he was so ready! But as you can imagine I was dealing with a sister undergoing chemotherapy and a son graduating from high school. Two very conflicting emotional places to be.

In late July, early August my other sister was diagnosed with breast cancer! Another surgery and another loved one beginning chemotherapy. Oooooi!

In late August my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer!!! Can you imagine? In the course of a few days, we were awaiting results on my Mom's surgery, my son was moving into college, my niece moved to New Zealand AND I had a preplanned show! I cancelled the show. Something had to give.

Finally September arrived. I quite my part time job. Really there is only so much one person can handle, physically and emotionally!!!! Now I had a new plan. Plan A wasn't working out, I was on to Plan B or was it C, I don't know anymore....I was going to love my family through it!

One sister and I were able to attend almost all of my other of my sisters chemo treatments. We actually made the best of it and had some good times together. We got together often and found a really cool old Cider Mill where they sell antiques at affordable prices, we learned Kumihimo braiding together, we did some crocheting together, we drank LOTS of tea together.  We actually had quit a bit of fun together. It occurred to me that this was the first time in our adult lives that ALL of us were not working at the same time and able to spend time with each other. Since both my sisters were and are in a great frame of mind about their situation we truly were able to make the best of this time. My Mom was able to join us on most of these occasions too. I do think we provided quite a boost to all the patients in the cancer center. We were happy but not obnoxiously so.

One sister is DONE with her treatments...YEAH!!! Mom is done with her radiation...Yeah!!! My other sister has some treatments left but she is hanging tough! So we celebrate what we have and move into 2012!

Let 2011 wash away and 2012 begin with renewed joy and hope.

Thanks for taking the time to visit with me.

Thanksgiving Wishes to All

It is my wish that everyone finds a place of joy this Thanksgiving. If you are with family, friends, celebrating alone or serving our country and celebrating with fellow military personnel I hope you can find a moment or 

two to count your blessings.

image from the following website

http://fathermahars.blogspot.com/2010/11/thanksgiving-and-grace.html

We all have been blessed one way or another. Although our situation may not be our ideal situation if we can take a moment to be grateful for something we can hold that in our hearts and find joy.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Snow in October and it was a Total Wipe Out

The day before Halloween Massachusetts was struck with a whopper of a snow storm. By the time it was done I had 13 inches of heavy, wet snow on October 30!!!!

The snow itself wouldn't have been so bad. A late fall foliage contributed to the problem. The trees were still covered in leaves. NOT GOOD!!! So many limbs completely broke off the trees due to the weight of the snow. Many tree tops broke right off, some of them falling to the ground, many of them are still hanging precariously. We refer to those deadly ones as widow makers!

An oak tree bending precariously

Our driveway. Some of the trees that didn't make it.

My much loved (by me and the birds) Bradford Pear Tree. The center is gone and it no longer has its lovely pear shape. It will have to be replaced in the Spring. :(

This is my pool side cabana. I wasn't able to get the roof off and it completely crumpled up. 

My Mom and one of my sisters were without power so they came and stayed with me. I am grateful to have a generator that at least keeps our well running, heat in the house and one room with electricity. We really couldn't complain. It was really nice having some female energy in my home.

My dog and my sister's dog making the most of a warm, sunny spot.

Gratitude Today

I feel a huge sense of gratitude today.

It is a dull, cloudy, rainy day but the images I encountered on the usual journey to my son's school are in my head and my heart today. The beauty I saw filled me full of warmth and joy. I know this feeling will stay with me all day.

My son and I are up and at 'em early, so it was dark. Of course we were busy readying ourselves so I wasn't paying any attention to anything besides getting the morning routine done and getting us out the door on time.
As we pulled out of the garage I noticed a beautiful tint to all the trees, we rounded the bend and stopped the car in aw of the gorgeous sunrise. I had wished I had my camera or at least my phone so I could capture the beauty happening right in my front yard. (no time to run back in and get it) The photo below is very close to what I saw.... but that is only the beginning of the story...

Image from this site

We continued our drive. At the end of our road is a lake, behind the lake are hills and mountains. The high terrain, now standing in full fall foliage, was completely washed in a hue of pink. I have been living here for 6 years and have never seen that. It was simply beautiful. A gift to be cherished. But wait...it's not over yet....

THEN we spotted a rainbow! We ended up seeing both ends of the rainbow!!! It was a great way to start the day.

I dropped my son off to school and turned back toward home. By this time the sun had completely risen and was behind the clouds. The world now was a simple gray and it was beginning to rain. All the beauty we passed on the way was gone but the feeling is still shining within me. I don't see the gray, I see all the world washed in pink and a beautiful rainbow overhead. I am full of joy.

Of Life and a touch of Copper

Life has been an emotional roller coaster these past few months. For those of you that don't know...two of my sisters AND my mom have been diagnosed with breast cancer in the past 5 months. It is CRAZY that this is happening to my family all at the same time. No, it is not in our family. They are the first. We were completely taken by surprise when my first sister was diagnosed then to have 2 more diagnosed in such a short period of time seems unheard of. I am too much in the moment of it all and unable to put my emotions into the proper words so I will give you a brief update on how everyone is doing.

Sister #1 has set the tone for everyone. She has handled her diagnosis and treatment with the utmost amount of Grace. I can't even begin to tell you how easy she has made it for the rest of us to cope. She had her last chemotherapy treatment last week. Although she will continue with additional weekly treatments for another six months, we are looking forward to her strength (and hair) returning.

Sister #2 began her chemotherapy treatments and is half way through already. She had a different course of treatment, so although it is shorter in terms of time she is getting mega doses of chemo in one shot. She has followed Sister #1's lead and is in a very good place emotionally and showing an incredible amount of Grace as well.

Mom will begin radiation treatments shortly. This will be new to us so I'm not quite sure what to expect. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. Right now I don't want to know more. I can't even believe how much I have learned about cancer, treatments and cancer centers. We will deal with this one day at a time, just as we have everything else. And of course Mom is ever graceful also. I guess her girls learned it somewhere ;).

While I am here I would like to give a shout out to the beautiful people that work in cancer centers daily. They are truly amazing people!! I think they are angels here on earth.

My life is one day at a time. One appointment at a time. One person at a time. I don't do much thinking ahead or trying to plan a schedule for the family like I used to. Just one day, everyday filled with as much happiness as is possible. I strive to be joyful and creative everyday. I am surprisingly finding joy. It really is about the small, simple pleasures and enjoying the company of each person I come into contact with.

Creativity has been a bit more difficult. I don't have the drive to be as creative as I was in the past, but it really does make happy. So I try to do one creative thing everyday.

I haven't felt much like melting glass so I have been working a bit with metals. I have been practicing a new technique of etching metal when my time allows. I purchased a wonderful tutorial from Payton Jett. She totally rocks! You can find out more about Payton and the tutorial in her Etsy Shop. I have only etched copper so far but today I am experimenting with brass and silver. I can't wait to see what happens. I will keep you posted. Here are a couple of pictures I snapped to show you what I have been up to.

This was my second attempt at etching. The first didn't come out quit so well but I think I didn't have the right type of ink to make it work and I got excited and rushed the process along. You can't do that and expect great results. I was much happier with my second attempt.

Here is what those cut out circles look like. They are one inch discs. I have since drilled one hole in each disc. I am thinking they would make cute earrings.

And today I will etch these...

 The group shot.

 One inch disc with heart. Sterling Silver.

 One inch disc with owl. Brass. Isn't he cute?

And of course I had to do a tree. This is a 2 inch disc in copper.

I hope I will be adding some of these to my Etsy shop, Ema K Designs, one day soon. But as I said earlier, one day at time.

If you have an interest in any of them. Please do contact me. I still need to make some money but I haven't been very good at listing lately so do contact me if you like what you see.

Peace and Joy to All,

Excuse Me Please While I Puke

I was rendered speechless. I tried to form words but the only thing that actually left my lips was jibberish. This was completely unbelievable, incomprehensible, unbearable. The words came over the phone, delivered by my Mom but felt more like an incredible blow straight to my gut. I wanted to say, "Excuse me please while I puke."

In case you are just joining me let me take a brief moment to catch you up to speed. In March 2010, I suffered a stroke. I am in my mid 40's and this was a rather unbelievable happening. I have successfully recovered. In March 2011 my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. She is currently in the throws of treatment and recovery. Yesterday, we found out my other sister has breast cancer too!!! What the heck????

x 2 is just not right!





To say my family is completely stunned is an understatement of great proportions. I think we are all in a state of shock. We come from a line of really great genes. Our family history has had next to no medical issues, current generation aside. Our parents and grandparents are, and in some cases were, always extremely healthy. Our grandparents lived healthily into their 90s and 100s. We always believed we would follow the same course.

It is hard to put all my thoughts and feelings together right now. There is so much I want to say but the thoughts come and go so quickly.

It is my hope that we, as a family, will find balance and grace. It is my prayer that we will all heal.

Each Day is New

Hi. Thanks for visiting my blog. My life as a wife, mother, sister, employee and artist has been crazy busy the last for months.

I began a part time job in April. I'm still not sure if I will continue with it. I like the job. Working from home, as an artist can be solitary and I miss seeing people so this job has been great fun. The problem is I haven't had a chance to make any beads or jewelry and I am sorely missing being creative. I am praying on finding a solution to this dilemma. I think if I put as much effort into my own business as I am putting into this part time job I could be successful. The problem is having enough discipline while working from home and being accountable to myself can be tricky.

My sister is successfully waging her own personal battle with breast cancer. She has made it easy for those of us that love her by handling the entire situation proactively with an amazingly positive attitude and an incredible amount of Grace. Yes she found Grace. I tell you she is an inspiration! If you are inclined to pray we would gladly accept your prayers on her behalf.

My second son graduated from high school! Phew!!! I am so pleased he is finally out of public school and will be creating his own direction and making decisions about his life. I think this is a wonderful place to be in life. I am excited to watch where he will go. He is heading off to college in the fall, studying film. Look out Hollywood....he will be storming your doors down some day soon.

Now with summer underway I hope I will be able to find some space to make beads and decide which direction I will take. I have decided I can't manage my family, manage my husbands business, work at a part time job as well as run my own business. Some decisions need to made...NOW if only I could decide.......



In the meantime....you can find my beads for sale in my Etsy and Artfire shoppes.

Life Throws Curve Balls the Key is Finding Grace

I haven't posted many blogs this month simply because I haven't known where to start. Steel yourself away a moment to share my story. I have no pictures to share today, but I do have a story to tell.

The month of March has been quite a challenge for me personally. I have had many debates with myself as to what is appropriate to share on my blog. I have decided that I am who I am and I won't change that for any reason. I am not overly complicated and I am not good at pretending everything is all peachy keen when inside I am feeling unsettled. So I have decided to share a piece of my story.

I was going to write a blog about beads but I wasn't feeling inspired to do so.

I was going to write a blog about the state of our world today. Many people are struggling financially, myself included (therein lies my lack of inspiration for writing about beads). Honestly sometimes I get tired of all the effort which needs to go into marketing. Some days I just want to create. I decided against this blog.

I was going to write a blog in celebration of March 26. This date means nothing to most people but it is a date I will never forget. It is the date, one year ago, that I had a stroke. I think you will understand when I say that this came as a complete shock to myself and my family. That was a curve ball for sure! I am grateful to be healthy with only a couple of very minor lingering effects. It seemed celebrating one year later and good health was appropriate. I never got to writing that post because I was thrown another curve ball.

My sister, my friend, a woman who was a surrogate mother to me when I was young, a woman who taught me my love of being an artist, a woman who continues to teach me about life was diagnosed with breast cancer. ****CURVE BALL****

We are at the very early stages of this ordeal and her course of treatments are not completely known to us at this point. So much is unknown to us. My sister has requested internet privacy while she travels this road and I will respect her wishes. However her journey directly effects my path, so there will be parts of it I may feel compelled to write about. I have found writing and blogging to be healing for me so I may wish to write about certain events as they effect me. I hope she can understand that.

I am finding my own personal grace in realizing that when the world may seem turned upside down life can throw you a curve ball. It is then that you can choose to find grace. All those "things" that were upsetting or stressing to you suddenly seem very small. You realize what is important and where your energy needs to be focused. My family is the most important part of my life. As long as we are all together nothing, and I mean nothing, else matters.

I thought it fair to share some of this with you because I may or may not be active in my ability to create and sharing my creations with you. I can't really say right now. I need to allow the story to unfold. Obviously my sister will be my top priority. My family and I will all be finding grace together.

Oatmeal Bread Pudding

This is such a delicious dish and makes a nutritious breakfast too. I have been making this dish for years but I haven't had it in a while. Sunday morning I woke up with a hankering for it. I made it for breakfast and it was gone by Sunday night. My teenage son asked me to make it again so he could have some for breakfast in the mornings before school. It is so easy for the kids to grab a piece on their way out the door if they have to.

2 3/4 cups old fashioned oats OR 2 1/2 cups quick cooking oats

3/4 cups firmly packed brown sugar

3/4 cups raisins or craisins

1 tsp ground cinnamon

1/4 tsp salt (optional) I use a dash of salt

3 1/3 cups milk

4 egg whites, slightly beaten

1 tbsp. oil

1 tbsp. vanilla extract

Mix dry ingredients in a bowl, mix wet ingredients in separate bowl. Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients. Mix it up.

Pour into 8" square glass baking dish, sprayed with non stick spray.

Bake in a 350 oven for 55-60 minutes or until center is firm to touch.

Hide it if you intend to save it for breakfast. :D

Ema

Enjoying the Moment

I recently realized that I have been barreling through my life the past year. I all too often feel that I am rushing to get to the next thing on my list...get the kid to school, get the groceries done, get home to start making products to sell, get the kid home from school, get home to figure out what dinner will be. I am tired of living this way. I feel like I am rushing, rushing rushing through everything. Today I set the intention to slow it down. Not just today but from now on, everyday.

Today I took my time at the grocery store, actually looking at and considering new foods. I brought in wood for the fire and took the time to "clean" up the wood pile and clean up all the little wood droppings I left on the family room floor while I placed the wood in the wood box.These are just little things but it felt really good to just slow my mind down.

I take the dog for a walk everyday. I don't always take the time to look around, today I looked. Here is a small sampling of what caught my eye.

Look at the fun and beauty that can found if we stop for a moment to appreciate what is right in front us. The most amazing part of this was that I got more done today than I thought I would fit into one day.  Today was a gift and I plan to carry this intention with me everyday.

The Tree that Inspires Me

The tree. As I pass by on a beautiful, clear sky morning.

I love this tree. I pass it everyday on my walk, sometimes I pass it many times in a day if I am driving by too. It ALWAYS captures my attention. I particularly love the tree when the leaves are off it. I find I am drawn to it on clear, cool nights, with the moon lighting it up. It speaks to me on some level. I'm not sure I can explain why. I see age and wisdom in this tree. I see strength and beauty. I see it embracing anything and everything that comes its way. I see this tree embodying grace.

Just some of my work that has been inspired by this tree...

My hope is that people will leave this tree alone and it will continue to stand strong, towering over our road.